Size

I’m singing Phantom o’ the Opera at a benefit concert in Spring Arbor. We tried in the obligatory Phantom half-mask, but it didn’t fit my larger than Phantom’s face. While I didn’t fit that costume piece, I did talk to a guy today who found Crocs in size 16 – one size bigger than my size 15 foot. This is encouraging. He said that he just had to remove the back strap, which I always thought was important for the integrity of footwear, but…

Garfield Minus Garfield

I’ve mentioned it here before, but garfieldminusgarfield.net is beautiful poetry to me. It’s nothing more than Photoshop magic, removing Garfield’s image and dialogue from every pane. This has the marvelous effect of making John Arbuckle look even more like a guy who should never have moved out of his Mom’s basement.

Poor John. Maybe it’s better that Garfield’s not around to see his slow downward spiral.

In happy news, gas is getting cheaper and cheaper. Also, they’ve figured out how to make a light bulb burn for free.

Sorry, Ma Bell

My wife and I decided to do something that many Americans are doing these days: ignore political ads.  While doing so, we also decided to get rid of our home phone line.  That’s right: we’ve severed ties with our local phone company, a process that is as gory and disturbing as it sounds (that whole “sever” thing).  I wasn’t there, but I understand  that the conversation went something like this:

Mr. PhonCo: Hello, valued customer.  How can we be of service today?
Emily: Well… (sheepisly) we would like to get rid of our home phone service.
Mr. PhonCo: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, valued customer.  It says here on my screen that for you to do so would be a bad idea.
Emily: Well, we need to cut costs, and we hardly use the thing anyway, so…
Mr. PhonCo: Were you dissatisfied with your service, pending customer?
Emily: No, not one bit.  We always had a dial tone.  The phone always rang to alert us to incoming calls, etc.
Mr. PhonCo: So you’re saying we’ve never let you down.  I’ll tell Ma Bell. Oh, wait.  She’s dead.
Emily:
Mr. PhonCo: It says here you’ve been using the phone since you were 3 months old.  Your first conversation was long distance to Grandma’s house.  You girgled.  She girgled. It was beautiful.  Should I play that call back now?
Emily: You can do that?
Mr. PhonCo: Are you a cop?
Both: Awkward pause.
Mr. PhonCo: Ma’am, what can we do to keep you as a customer today?
Emily: To keep me as a customer?  Charge nothing.
Mr. PhonCo: Oh, our sliding scale goes down to $25 per month.  It says here on my screen that I should say it’s the best we can do and to act like you’re really putting us under the bus.
Emily: I’m so sorry.  It’s not you, it’s just that our cell phones are our primary–
Mr. PhonCo: Oh. Cell phones.  I suppose you’ll be counting on them when the tower goes down.
Emily: What?
Mr. PhonCo: Um.  Nothing.
Emily: So, yeah.  I was thinking we could end the phone service on Thursday or maybe Friday?
Mr. PhonCo: How about right now?
Emily: What? (Click, silence) Hello?

Okay, so the conversation probably didn’t go like that and chances are good that I just made it up. In actuality, the phone company took our switch-over pretty well, as if they’ve heard this a bazillion times from customers like us.  We’ve used POTS (Plain Old Telephone Service) for generations, and in as little as a decade, as Cell towers dominate the landscape, we’ve switched teams like that (snapping finger sound) and have replaced Ma Bell with Dad Cell.  You’ve gotta wonder how that leaves her feeling (by which I refer to Emily).

Live TV Commentary: The Office

I really dig The Office (American Version). By my saying “American Version”, you might guess that there is more than one version. Your guess is correct: there are 2 versions. The NBC, of which I am watching the opening montage as we speak, and the BBC, of which I am not watching as we speak. I guess in one way I am watching the BBC version because it inspired the whole franchise, but in another way I am not (if you know what I mean).

Michael is dating the new HR rep, played by an actress was just interviewed this morning on the Today Show (Copyright, Matt Lauer). It’s good to see Michael dating someone who is like him in so many ways. Then again, this isn’t always a good thing. At least they can be awkward together as we watch (with one eye squinting closed because of the awkwardness).

Dwight and Phyllis have tension because Phyllis knows of Dwight’s misdeeds with an engaged woman. It’s good to see Phyllis pushing the beta male around.

Yup, we can hear Michael and the new HR rep.
(commercial)
- During the commercial, let me mention aloud that I went to the Apple store today with my Dad. He has never seen things like AppleTV, GarageBand, and the internet. It was a good time at the always hospitable Apple Store.

(and, we’re back)

Uh oh: the office has been broken into. Dwight makes HP Computer product placement. It turns out it’s Michael and HR girl’s fault for not locking the place (the robbery, not the product placement).

Tension, too, between Pam and Jim (only a little: Emily thinks there’s none). She’s a girl, so I trust her emotional intelligence more than mine.

You’ve got to admit it: Michael is never shy in front of a group, nor is he short on material for a staff meeting. Whether or not people care is irrelevant to him. As his mug says, he’s a pretty good boss.
He is also very good, as we see, at making up acronyms: C.R.I.M.E. A.I.D. Wow — Michael is a very good auctioneer who’s not afraid to say “Let’s hear it for me!”.

Roy’s back. Jim is scared. Kevin is a tax man. Dwight has the blues.
(commercial)
- During this commercial, I should probably bring up the fact that someone brought us an Apple Pie today.

(and, we’re back)

The guy who plays David Wallace was one of the actors at the Office Party that took place in Scranton, PA. Jim, Pam, Michael and Dwight were not there.

Phyllis slapped Dwight. Jim obviously wants to slap Roy — they are sitting next to each other at a bar. Both should designate a driver. Jim has designated himself and is driving to Pam’s school.
Jim has turned around.
(commercial)
- I should say during this break that Burger King has the best dessert, and it’s the Hersey Chocolate pie.

(and, we’re back)

I can see three-ring binders in this shot. And a kiss between manager and HR. David Wallace is watching and is surprised. Plot points placed.

(and, we’re done)

RadCast

Just uploaded a podcast on radamdavidson.com. If no one ever listens, I still find joy in the fact that I can go back and listen. Just like when you watch VHS tapes of your 7th birthday. Awkward, but there are people around to witness it so it’s okay.

Live TV Commentary: Knight Rider

What child of the 80’s didn’t know of the glorious existence of Knight Rider, the television show that brought us both talking cars and, to a lesser extent, David Hasselhof? If you haven’t seen old school Knight Rider, here’s the summary: Michael Knight talks to a car voiced by Mr. Feeny (from TV’s “Boy Meets World”) about many things, including how best to drive into the back of a moving semi trailer. Michael Knight and K.I.T.T., the talking Trans Am, end up fighting crime, mostly taking charity cases that the A-Team wouldn’t touch.

Right now, I’m watching Knight Rider on NBC — a re-make of the original. Michael is now Mike. General Motors K.I.T.T. now a Ford Mustang that can transform (or “Go-Bot”) into an F-150. I’ve heard that David Hasselhoff makes an occasional appearance in the re-make, but I haven’t seen him yet. If he does show up, we can only hope that wardrobe didn’t mix up the tags and accidentally put him in Baywatch garb for his walk-on.
The basic premise of the re-make is the same as the 80’s original, only less um… good. It still has the basic elements: a talking Car and cocky driver, sensors indicating danger, and adventuresome plots that appeals to an audience comprised mainly of 5th graders. They even retained the fwhoo-fwhoo sound with red moving light. As a kid, Dad told me that this was K.I.T.T.’s “eye”. I always wondered how that didn’t tip people off that maybe this wasn’t your normal Trans-Am, much like Clark Kent’s glasses.

The big surprise with the 25-years later remake is the lack of graphic excellence. Even with my lo-def RCA television (1990 model) the chroma-key is blatently obvious. I can’t help but think that I could do a better green-screen with stuff in my own basement.

Another big surprise is the abundant product placement. Ford Motor is looking to cash in just like General Motors did, though I don’t remember thinking I was watching a Pontiac commercial in the old version. No doubt the vehicular situation is awesome, though. It makes me wonder how many people go to their Ford dealership to get the K.I.T.T. upgrade for their Mustang GT. The sales department could cash in and offer the Knight Rider upgrade to less suspecting customers. Wellsir, here’s your red eye sensors (Dollar Store Christmas Lights). Here’s your in-car SuperComputer (Speak’n'Spell taped to dashboard). Here’s your voice (William Daniels sitting in your passenger seat).

Cooky adventures with high-tech surveillance, classic one-liners and predictable plot lines. You gotta love it. They’re going for an audience here, and you can see why Knight Rider is on at 8pm instead of 9pm. It’s just about bedtime for most elementary school kids. As I’m watching just one episode of Knight Rider tonight, I can’t help but think that I’ve seen this before. I also can’t shake the idea that someday new Micheal Knight will end up in syndication city, just outside Berlin.

Oh, good. They’re playing “Mustang Sally”. It’s finally over. Now a teaser for a new episode in 2 weeks. Rest assured I’ll be watching. Reruns. Of Corner Gas.

Update

No time to make meaningful contributions. But I do have time to give a quick update:

Working on 2009 budget requests for Worship Arts @ SAFMC. It takes a long time to do this kind of stuff — but it’s worth it.

Looking at the Summer of ‘09 & Ministry abroad. Camps and stuff. I love it.

Looking at Christmas ‘08 and Easter ‘09, too. Musicals and big services.

Going through voice mail. I need to check it more than once a day.

Comedian – Jerry Seinfeld

I’m watching the film Comedian, which actually isn’t as funny as it sounds. That’s because it’s a view of comedy from the other side, seen through the eyes of Jerry Seinfeld and Orny Adams (I haven’t heard of him, either — even after watching it). Jerry decides, after the NBC finale, to go back out on the road and do a standup routine. We watch him work out his act and, at the same time, watch other standup comedians do their thing. Three lessons I’ve learned about life, ministry, and having the charge of saying stuff:

Every word counts. Every pause counts, too. People stay tuned in for an average of 0.4 seconds.

The work of comedy is surprisingly serious.

People who say funny things are not normal, and everyone is pretty much okay with it (to some extent).

If you’ve never seen it, please do. There is something healing about seeing Jerry Seinfeld’s insecurities and fears. It’s also good to watch the intense work going into something that doesn’t seem like much work. We take so much for granted.
imdb

Boss Appreciation Day

According to the fine folks at halife.com, it’s boss appreciation day. Someone I work with brought in some delicious cinnamon rolls, created by the folks at the Wal-Mart Bakery. I believe it to be a core American behavior — eating something to celebrate something. In fact, it’s downright biblical (all the feasts in the Old Testament with fatted calves and the finest fodder). Food helps us celebrate. Right now, we’re celebrating by eating these fine pastries. Sadly the boss is not around. But he is appreciated. One will be saved for him (and later eaten while he’s not looking).

——–
FOR DISCUSSION:
1. Would it be acceptable to sing “happy boss day to you” during today’s staff meeting?
2. Who doesn’t like cinnamon rolls? Seriously.

ANSWER KEY:
1. Not in the least.
2. People who are allergic to cinnamon dislike cinnamon rolls.

slotMusic cards and play-ahs

The next time you buy a CD may be the last. Well, okay. That may not be true. But what is true is the arrival of more technology that will put the Compact Disc out of business (and put them in the business of Coasters and post-modern mirrors). Have you seen the slotMusic card? Check it out:

The slotMusic cards have a capacity of 1GB – the equivalent of one full-length album, along with liner notes, album art and sometimes videos. Individual cards sell for $14.99, about the price of a traditional CD.

Alan Thicke sings his favorites

slotMusic makes today’s hottest music available on interoperable microSD cards that let fans instantly plug and play albums into their microSD slot-enabled mobile phones, portable media players, computers, and an increasing number of car stereos.
More than just your typical music albums or single downloads, slotMusic cards boast 1GB (gigabyte) of capacity to offer artists a compelling new way to express themselves to their fans. In addition to songs, slotMusic cards may hold liner notes, album art, videos and other creative content that an artist may choose.

Your thoughts? Would you buy one? Are you an iTunes/Amazon downloader? Or — are you a limewire/acqusition user? If so, you can confess here.